The Five Kisses of Christmas
by Bookish Brownie
Summary: This story shows encounters between Remus and Tonks over five Christmases. Now with technically AU bonus chapter!
1. 1993

A/N: I've read some fics that show Remus and Tonks meeting before OOTP, and they served as my inspiration. I hope you enjoy it in the spirit of the season.

**The Five Kisses of Christmas**

**Chapter 1**

**1993**

Third year Auror cadet Nymphadora Tonks was sitting at the bar in the Three Broomsticks. It was Christmas Eve, and, while she supposed that she should be with family and friends, she didn't particularly care to listen to another of her mother's lectures about her lack of a significant other.

She ordered a firewhiskey from Madame Rosmerta and furtively glanced around at the clientele. The normally crowded restaurant was practically empty; the only customers were those with no where else to go.

She heard the tinkling of the bell on the door as a new patron entered. He was nothing remarkable. His slim frame was on the tall side, and he wore shabby robes with multiple patches. His sandy brown hair was lightly streaked with gray. His face seemed prematurely lined. But his eyes. His eyes were an arresting amber color with an inner light that spoke equally of deep sorrow and profound compassion. She turned away so as not to be caught staring, but the man was walking toward the bar anyway.

"Excuse me, but do you mind if I sit here?" he asked in a low slightly hoarse voice.

She considered him a moment before shaking her head. "It's a free country." He sat down and ordered a butterbeer. She knew he was a stranger, but company always made her feel more cheerful. "What brings you here on Christmas Eve?"

He looked as if he had no real desire to talk, but he answered, "I have no where better to be." He didn't seem angry or bitter, but there was a certain wistful quality to his tone. It took him a moment to realize that he should probably reciprocate the question for politeness' sake. "And you?"

"Same." There was a slightly awkward pause, and most people would have ended the brief conversation there. Tonks was not most people. "So, what do you do for a living?" she inquired brightly.

"I teach at Hogwarts." He raised an eyebrow in a question as to her profession.

"I'm in my third year of Auror training." They both seemed a little impressed at the other's vocation. "Do you teach Defense?" He nodded. "I wish I could have been in school last year when Gilderoy Lockhart was teaching. I would have loved to learn from him. I'm sure all the girls absolutely swooned over him." With her natural proclivity for putting her foot in her mouth, Tonks realized that she might have offended him. "I'm sure you're a great teacher, though," she added apologetically.

The man grimaced. "I'm sure my predecessor would be delighted to know that you're a fan."

"Oh, I think you misunderstand me. I've always thought he seemed a right git. He was always posing and smiling that ghastly fake politician smile. I never believed that one man could do so much in so little time. I bet most Hogwarts students know more defense than he did by their third year. I would have loved for him to get something wrong while I was able to correct him and wipe that smug grin from his face."

He looked a little dazed for a minute before breaking out into a bold laugh that lit up his face and smoothed away the lines on his face. Tonks found herself unable not to laugh in the face of his mirth. It took several disapproving stares from the other customers for them to subside. The man said in between deep breaths, "Well, I don't think he would often find that reaction. It would have been good for him, although his current malady is unfortunate."

She nodded, still smiling. "Do you think the post really is cursed? They haven't been able to keep a DADA professor for more than a year in a few decades."

The smile that had also lingered on his face faded. "I don't know. I would be inclined to say no, but the number of unfortunate occurrences that have befallen them in the past seem to be beyond coincidence." He looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Was Professor Snape your Potions master?" There was a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"Yeah. We didn't exactly get along." She vividly remembered a particular fall when she tripped and took out a whole crate of flasks with her. It was her NEWT year, and Snape had questioned how a girl like her could ever hope to become an Auror while drawling out her dreaded Christian name to add insult to injury.

That seemed to be the answer for which he was hoping. "Then you might appreciate this story. I was teaching my third years about boggarts the other day. I had them practice with one in an armoire in the staff room. One of them is terrified of Professor Snape. So, with some gentle prodding I suggested how he might make the Potions master less imposing. When I opened the door and he managed to say 'riddikulus,' Snape came out dressed as the boy's grandmother, complete with a large red handbag and a stuffed vulture hat." By this point, Tonks was doubled over from the hilarity. "Naturally, the tale was all over the school within a few hours. As you might imagine, he was most displeased." She gave renewed shouts of laughter.

The other patrons were glaring at her again, but her companion was simply smirking a bit smugly. "I can't believe you got Snape to dress in drag."

"I have to say it's a story that I enjoy telling." He stopped for a moment, and then asked hesitantly, "May I ask how you achieved your hair color?"

She blushed. "Well, I'm a metamorphmagus." She changed her hair from bouncy red and green curls to her characteristic vibrant pink spikes for emphasis. She cringed slightly, waiting for his reaction. Normally men got a glazed and dreamy look in their eyes as their fantasies ran away with them and they imagined what she could transform into.

He simply considered her with interest. "I should have guessed. It must be a useful talent for disguises as an Auror cadet." She almost gaped at him. It was by far the best reaction she had ever gotten after admitting what she was. This stranger remembered her job and did not treat her as an oddity or an object. He was obviously not most men.

She smiled at him. "Yeah, it probably saved me. I'm dead clumsy; I nearly failed stealth and tracking." She went on to recount the tale of her first practical exam when she tripped and set off every single defensive ward that Mad-Eye Moody had set up to test the cadets' investigation skills. Her companion smiled sympathetically and remarked that she must have perfected her other talents, besides being a metamorphmagus, to have pulled through after a disaster like that. She didn't know what it was, but there was something about that man that made him easy to confide in.

They chatted amiably for roughly another hour. The time passed quickly, and Tonks was surprised when she looked at the clock and it was past midnight. "Well, I should head back to my flat." She got up slowly.

"Oh, it is late, isn't it. I suppose I'll head back to the castle." He also rose to his feet. They walked toward the door. They both looked up a bit nervously to see that there was mistletoe hanging above the entrance. Tonks didn't normally kiss strange men that she met at bars, but she supposed there was no harm in a friendly seasonal gesture with a man whom she would probably never see again.

As they leaned in together awkwardly, their lips barely brushed each other. Tonks felt _something_. She didn't want to call it a "bolt of electricity" because that phrase sounded like something out of a trashy romance novel. However, whatever it was, it was pleasant. They grinned sheepishly at each other as they exited into the cold December night.

"Good luck with getting your Auror certification. And happy Christmas," said the man, as he raised his hand in farewell.

"Good luck to you, too. I hope you break the curse. Happy Christmas!" Tonks exclaimed as she Apparated home, still smiling.


	2. 1994

A/N: There is an OC in this chapter named Barry Pruce. I'm going to indulge in a shameless bit of self promotion and say that he is from one of my other stories, "Magical Connection." I hope you enjoy this installment.

**Chapter 2**

**1994**

Nymphadora Tonks was sitting at the bar of the Three Broomsticks on Christmas Eve for the second year in a row. She had been in the restaurant several times since the previous year. She always half expected to see the professor with the brilliant amber eyes, but she never did. She hardly ever thought about him, but she sometimes wished that she had asked his name.

Then, that summer she saw the headline in the _Daily Prophet_. His name was Remus Lupin, and he was a _werewolf_. She did a double take when she noticed that detail. He had seemed so normal and sweet. At first, she thought it was all a joke, but the anger that was palpable in Hogsmeade told her that it was all very serious. She knew that werewolves were dangerous, but she figured that, if the man she met were one, then they couldn't all be evil. She felt it was unfair that he was forced to resign when he obviously loved the job so much and was probably good at it.

She remembered all that and wondered what he was doing since he left, if he were able to find any work at all after the publicity. Her musings were interrupted by one of her least favorite people in the world.

Barry Pruce, her model-turned-Auror associate, was the most pompous and loathsome man, no, human being, on the planet. "Why, hello, _Nymphadora_," he said flashing his overly white teeth and drawing out the syllables in her hated name. "It looks like Christmas is coming a little early for you. Seeing as I am dateless tonight, I've come to relieve you of your loneliness." Another eye-aching smile.

"Who says I'm lonely? I happen to waiting for someone." That statement was an utter lie, but she had to get him to go away before he made her hex him.

Pruce was unfazed. "Oh, babydoll," he began. She was really starting to get angry when he pulled out the saccharine pet name that was almost as bad as the N-word. "I'm sure I could show you a better time than that bloke. Why don't you come and sit with me?" He positively leered at her; several female patrons were glaring enviously at her, but she only wanted him to go away.

"No. Go away. I don't know how many times that I will have to tell you that I'm not interested before you catch on, but I'll keep telling you until you do." She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled in what she hoped was the most intimidating pose she could muster.

"Aw, I know, you just love your game of playing hard to get. But soon you're just going to give into your desire to be with me." Tonks was ready with another angry retort when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm late, sweetheart. I got caught up at work." She recognized that smooth hoarse tone.Sure enough, Remus Lupin was standing next to her, smiling serenely.

She grinned in return. "I'm glad you're here, love." She said gushingly. She turned to Pruce. "Now, if you don't mind, my boyfriend and I would like some alone time." She smiled with a false brightness. Pruce struggled to maintain his composure, but he was losing the battle against an unsightly confusion as he slinked away.

When he was out of sight, Remus removed his hand from Tonks' shoulder. "Thank you." She looked back at him. His robes were even shabbier than last Christmas and he looked almost emaciated, but he bore the same warm smile that she remembered. He also wore a wide-brimmed hat; she guessed that he was trying not to be recognized.

"No problem. I hope you don't mind my method of scaring him off."

She shrugged. "I wouldn't have cared if you had kissed me full on the mouthif it got him to go away." She realized that she may have said too much, but she characteristically spoke before thinking. He chuckled, but he was still standing a bit awkwardly. "You could sit down if you want. The least I could do is buy you a drink."

He looked at her uncertainly. "You don't mind that I'm…?"

"No. I don't." She ordered two butterbeers from Rosmerta. "I'm sorry about the DADA job. It's too bad that you didn't break the curse."

He shrugged. "I'm lucky that Dumbledore even gave me a chance in the first place. Did you get your Auror certification?"

"Yep. Just this past spring." She proudly showed him her Auror badge. She didn't quite know what to say next. "So, what have you been doing these past months?" she inquired tentatively.

"Well, as you can probably guess, I've been unemployed." He didn't sound bitter, but his voice was tinged with sadness. "I've been doing a few odd jobs for Dumbledore." Remus paused, as if considering whether or not to say what he wanted to. "I have to admit that it's nice to finally know your name, Nymphadora."

"It's Tonks." He looked puzzled. "Tonks is my last name. That guy earlier was just being a prat. Nobody calls me the N-word unless they want to get hexed."

"Oh, alright, I think it's a lovely name, though."

She huffed, "You and my mother only."

He smiled at her. "So, what have you been doing, Tonks, besides becoming a full-fledged Auror?"

She shrugged. "There hasn't been much time for anything else."

"Tell me, is the life of a young Auror as exciting as one might think?"

She laughed. "Oh, yes, filling out endless paperwork is a real adrenaline rush." Remus chuckled. "But I am part of the team that's looking for Sirius Black. I guess they want me to prove my loyalty to the Ministry by working on the case, seeing as he is my cousin." Tonks noticed him stiffen the smallest; she probably would not have seen if she were not trained in close observation.

"Do you have any leads?" he asked with the merest tremor in his voice.

"At least once a week some old woman claims that she saw him in her flower bed, but we really haven't gotten anywhere. Why?"

"Well… he's a dangerous criminal, and it would be a relief if he were back in Azkaban." Tonks was not convinced by his reply.

"I don't know, though. They'd probably sack me for saying this, but part of me feels like he's innocent, that it's all a big misunderstanding. My mum always used to talk about how much they loved each other when they were younger, and how he wasn't like the rest of the Blacks. I guess even the best people can go astray," she finished wistfully. Remus looked genuinely shocked by her statement.

"I suppose it's possible. People have been framed in the past." He spoke with such determined and perfect nonchalance that, if Tonks didn't know better, she would have thought that he knew more than he was saying. "Anyway, he probably wouldn't do anything until it gets warmer. I imagine that he's just hiding and biding his time."

Tonks nodded. It seemed the end of that subject. They went on to talk of music (a topic on which they had nothing in common), politics (they both believed that Fudge was a complete idiot, off the record of course), and their days at Hogwarts (they compared detention records; Tonks won narrowly, but he said that she had nothing on a few of his school friends). Once again it was after midnight when they realized that they should be going to their respective homes. Once again they found themselves under the mistletoe at the front door. Their kiss was a few moments longer than their first.

As they met the cold wind outside, Remus called to a big black dog by the name of Snuffles. Tonks said, petting the dog's curly fur, "I saw Snuffles earlier; I thought he must be a stray."

Remus snorted with laughter. "Oh, you might call him a stray. He certainly is badly behaved." Snuffles looked at him in an almost reproachful way.

"But you take care of him anyway?"

"In a manner of speaking. Well, it was nice to see you again Nym-" She glared at him. "_Tonks_. Happy Christmas, auld lang syne, etc."

"Take care. Bye, Snuffles." They waved at each other and disapparated in unison.


	3. 1995

A/N: Sorry, it's been so long since I've updated. This chapter has given me so much grief for some reason. But I'm done with finals now!!!!!!!! I'm hoping to update tomorrow or Friday also. Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

**1995**

Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin were sitting in the library of Number 12 Grimmauld Place on Christmas Eve. They were both reading quietly, he in his armchair and she sprawled out on the sofa.

Suddenly, Tonks lifted her head. "We should go to the Three Broomsticks." He looked at her quizzically. She faltered slightly. "Well, I mean…we're sort of developing a tradition. For the past two years we've met there, albeit inadvertently, on Christmas Eve."

He smiled. "You know, you have a point. That sounds like a good idea."

A few minutes later they Apparated into Hogsmeade. Remus opened the door of the restaurant for her and indicated that she should enter. They took their by-now-customary seats at the bar and ordered two butterbeers.

They didn't quite know what to say to each other, which was unusual because, even when they had met before they really knew each other, they hadn't felt awkward. However, this was the first time that they had agreed to go some place together beforehand that was not Order business.

"You and Mad-Eye are taking the Weasleys to see Arthur tomorrow, aren't you?" asked Tonks conversationally. He nodded. She paused while she considered how she should say what she wanted to. "I was there the other day. Um…he's sharing the room with a man who was recently _bitten_." Remus tensed immediately, and she regretted mentioning that information. "I think his name is Walter, or something."

He sighed. "I guess I should talk to him when I visit Arthur." He took a long drink from his butterbeer. "What are your plans for Christmas?"

"I'm going to my parents' in the morning, and I'd thought I'd go to Grimmauld in the afternoon to keep Sirius company while everyone's with Arthur."

Remus smiled brightly. "I'm sure he would like that. Will you be around for Christmas dinner?" She nodded and grinned. If possible, he beamed more widely.

"I couldn't let you, Sirius, and the kids have all of Molly's cooking to yourselves, could I?"

"No, I suppose not. But, you know, I'm not sure there will be quite enough for all of us." Remus composed his face into a thoughtful expression, but his lips twitched almost imperceptibly and his eyes gleamed. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"But I know that Molly would not deprive the poor dark wizard chaser of a hearty meal, or five."

"Well, she wouldn't let the shabby werewolf former professor go hungry either." He gave her a mock glower.

"Ah, probably not. Poor Sirius, then, will be denied a fourth helping of turkey." They both laughed at the thought that Molly Weasley would run low on food and at the antagonism between Sirius and the matriarch.

However, Tonks knew perfectly well that Molly's feast, wonderful as it may be, was not the true reason that she wanted to spend Christmas at Grimmauld. She could also delude herself into thinking that she simply wanted to cheer Sirius up or spend time with the children to keep their mind off Arthur, but those would be lies. She actually wanted to spend more time with the man currently sitting next to her.

Sometimes she thought that he wanted the same thing, but other times he shied away. Little did she know that she occupied his thoughts as much as, if not more than, he did hers. However, she knew that they had to get their relationship sorted soon or she would surely go mad.

"You know, when we first met here two years, I wondered a few times if I would run into you again. And then you were here last year. But I never imagined we would become friends." She smiled at him, hoping to subtly tell him that she was very glad that had become friends, the best of friends.

"I'll confess to a certain amount of curiosity myself. I can't say I'm surprised that we crossed paths again, though." Tonks raised a questioning eyebrow. "Our two brief conversations did not give me much evidence to judge, but I knew you were an Auror and you seemed like the sort of person who might be sympathetic to the Order if need arose." Remus grinned sheepishly. "So I fully understood when Moody mentioned your name as a possible new recruit. And here we are."

"Here we are." She felt stupid for parroting him, but, uncharacteristically, she couldn't think of anything to say. They lapsed into companionable silence for a time. Tonks, beginning to feel uncomfortable, broke it. "I wish it were Christmas all year."

Remus looked at her quizzically. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Everyone always seems to be in a happier frame of mind. There are festive decorations, good food, and opportunities to see family and friends."

"But if it were like that all the time, then the holidays wouldn't be special. You have to take the good times as they come because you never when they'll disappear." The air of nostalgia and sadness about his words made Tonks realize that they weren't just talking about Christmas anymore.

"I agree. You should savor every moment of happiness and peace and save those memories for times of hardship. But I don't think you should focus on how easy it is to lose those times. If you always think about the possibility for difficulties in the future, then you'll never be able to properly enjoy the present."

He sighed. "I see your point, but you also shouldn't fool yourself into believing that the good times can last forever." He wore an odd smile; it was almost rueful. The next instant, though, it was replaced by a genuine grin. "We should follow our own advice and just enjoy the time we have."

"Cheers!" They clinked their glasses together and drained the last of their butterbeers.

"Well, I should probably be going. I have to get up early to take the kids and Molly to see Arthur." Remus stood up and moved away from the bar. Tonks' heart began to beat rather rapidly. She had noticed the mistletoe pinned above the door, but she didn't know how Remus would react. The two previous years they had kissed each other as a simple seasonal gesture, but now there was so much more involved, their work in the Order, their friendship.

While she was considering the possibilities, Tonks realized that Remus was already out the door. Part of her was relieved that a potentially awkward situation was avoided, but most of her was intensely disappointed. When she exited into the frosty December night a few moments after him, she saw him looking at the sky contemplatively. He immediately smiled as she walked toward him.

"I had fun tonight," said Tonks.

"So did I." She was wrong. An awkward situation hadn't been avoided; it had just been moved outside. They both stood, shifting their weight from foot to foot, glancing at each other sidelong.

"Well…" They began in unison and then chuckled nervously. Remus gestured for Tonks to go first.

"Er…I guess I'll see you tomorrow." She began to turn away to hide small frustrated sigh.

"Wait." He uttered the word ever so quietly, but she felt its impact as if he had shouted it. As she felt his hand on her arm.

She span back to him expectantly. "Yes?" Suddenly they were very close together. The clouds of their breaths mingled between them.

And then there was no more space between them. The first thing she thought of was grass growing. In some corner of her mind that was not celebrating that she was finally kissing Remus, she knew it was an odd association. She should have been thinking of flames and fireworks. However, it made sense, really. The kiss was simple and natural, emerging out of their increasingly close friendship.

When they broke apart, they leant their foreheads together. "I've wanted to do that for quite some time," Remus whispered against her mouth.

"Me, too." They smiled a little shyly at each other.

"Well, much as I would like to continue this, I really should be going." He looked truly regretful.

"It's all right. My mother wants me to come early, too. Contrary to all evidence, she still thinks she can turn me into the consummate housewitch."

He grinned broadly. "How silly of her. Happy Christmas, Nymphadora."

"Happy Christmas, Remus." Twin cracks of Disapparition sounded in the street. The smile never left Tonks' face.


	4. 1996

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed so far. This is my first attempt at canon HBP era fic.

**Chapter 4**

**1996**

The blustery wind tore through Hogsmeade. Most people doing last minute Christmas shopping rushed to their destinations as quickly as possible. However, there was one slightly stooped figure that didn't seem to notice the cold. She strolled aimlessly down High Street, apparently lost in her thoughts. The woman was unremarkable, particularly in her mousy hair color.

But, suddenly, Nymphadora Tonks stopped dead in her tracks. "Remus? Is that you?"

"Hello, Nym-_Tonks_." He said the last word with such force that he seemed to be scolding himself. She almost didn't recognize him. He was thinner, his clothes were shabbier and his skin had a grayish tinge.

"What are you doing in this weather without an overcoat?" Her shock was fading, and anger was taking its place.

He hung his head and mumbled, "Overcoats are expensive."

"You had one last year."

" That was _last _year. Being among the lowest in the pack hierarchy has its disadvantages." Remus still refused to meet her eyes. "Your hair looks…different."

"Don't change the subject." She was momentarily at a loss for words; she had no desire to talk about her morphing troubles. "Well, at least come into the Three Broomsticks with me."

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"What? Am I so repulsive that you can't spend twenty minutes with me?"

"Nym- _Tonks_, you know it's not that."

"Then give me a reason." She either wanted to slap him or kiss him.

"I don't want pity. Least of all from you." Remus said the second part very quietly, as if he didn't want to hurt her, but that pity from her would hurt him far more than anger or even hatred for the way he broke up with her.

Despite his intentions, those words pained her more than anything else he had said since the summer. She ached that he could misunderstand her feelings so. "How many times do I have to tell you, Remus? I don't pity you; I _love_ you. You should know the difference. Now, come in and eat with me or I'll tell Molly that you turned down a meal." Remus blanched visibly. "Don't think I won't. She'll give you a worse scolding than I could ever pull off. Besides, it's tradition."

"Alright." He looked as if he were bracing himself for a horrible ordeal.

They entered and sat at their two usual seats at the bar. After ordering two butterbeers and some mince pies, Tonks turned to examine Remus more closely. She could almost see through his threadbare garb in some places, and it all hung off his almost emaciated frame. His eyes, which used to be lit from within with intelligence and warmth, had a deadened appearance. Tonks had a terrible thought that this mission would turn him into Sirius, a man who had lost his former self and became only a shell.

She mentally shook herself. She refused to let her imagination get the best of her. She would enjoy the time she had with, the continuation of their old Christmas Eve tradition, even under the worst of circumstances.

Remus seemed to have every intention of leaving as soon as possible and not saying a word in the mean time, so she knew that she would have to break the burgeoning silence. "I don't suppose you want to talk of your mission." His deep frown answered her. "So, what are you doing for Christmas?"

"I, um, I have to go back to the pack." He blatantly avoided eye contact and his body language was supremely uncomfortable. "And you? Are you visiting your parents again this year?"

Two could play at his game of evasion. "I might." In truth, she had no such plans and was going to hide away in her room. She felt a little pathetic because of her moping, but she didn't want to face any concern or questions or open shock at her appearance.

"Er, Tonks, may I ask about your hair?"

"You just did." She didn't mean to sound so snappish, but seeing as he was almost completely to blame, if not entirely, she really didn't want to talk about it.

Remus obviously noticed that she was upset. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. I've just never seen you willingly wear such an ordinary color."

"I'm just under a lot of stress right now. There are more Dementor attacks all the time, and all the citizens are nervous." She didn't want him to know that she was still desperately missing him, after five months of no contact and the fact that he had summarily ended their relationship without respecting her input at all.

"Oh." He peered into his butterbeer as if the golden liquid would tell him what to say next. "Well, I should be going."

Tonks felt torn. While she wanted to keep what dignity she had left, she wanted him to stay more. "Wait." He sat back down in his chair. "Stay and warm up a little longer."

He acquiesced reluctantly. After a few moments in which he looked like he was battling within himself he seemed to have come to a decision. "So, how have you been, apart from the war? Have been able to find anything fun to do in your free time? Do you…do you have a boyfriend?"

Tonks snorted, and Remus immediately tensed. "You're kidding me, right?" She stared at him incredulously, with a raised brow.

"Well, I thought that, since you haven't resumed our old argument, you're happy now, or as happy as one can be in times such as these."

"Well, you're wrong. I was thinking about it, but I think you have enough to deal with without worrying about me, too."

"But I do." The sudden redness that suffused his face showed that he thought he made a horrible mistake. But he plowed on. "I worry about whether or not you're happy. I…I miss you."

While she knew that Remus still cared for her, his admission thrilled Tonks. She knew that it didn't solve anything, that it didn't bring him back from Greyback's pack, but at least he talked about some of his feelings. "I miss you."

"You shouldn't."

"I thought you didn't want to have this argument again." She didn't want to make him feel guilty, but he was in dangerous territory. "You can't tell me how to think. I know you think I'm too immature for any sort of relationship with you, but I thought you respected me enough to understand that I at least know my own mind."

Remus appeared genuinely stricken. "I never meant to say that you were immature, Tonks. You just shouldn't have to deal with a partner with so many problems." He held up a hand to stop her imminent protests. "I know, I know, you should be whomever you choose. But I can't be here for you."

"But I can be here for _you_. I know that you like to be noble and not seek any help with your burdens, but I _want _to bear them with you."

He sighed heavily. "I thought we weren't going to have this argument."

Tonks almost laughed. "Well, it is taking a slightly different form than usual. You haven't once uttered the words "too old, too poor, too dangerous." I take that as a good sign."

"Well, we haven't gotten going properly. I bet I would if we gave it another half hour." The fact that they could joke about their fights before they had resolved anything was odd. But humor had always been a staple of their relationship. They shared the first genuine smiles of the night. "But I really should be leaving now."

"I'll walk you out." Like the previous year, Remus exited before Tonks could worry about the seasonal mistletoe hung above the entrance.

She had a sudden inspiration. "You never really believed that our relationship would last, did you? Even if Dumbledore hadn't asked you to live among the ferals."

"I…I," stammered Remus. He was clearly taken aback by her accusation.

"You never believed that I loved you, that I still love you, despite everything. And I haven't found a way to prove it to you, but I think I have an idea. Expecto Patronum!" She watched with a sad sort of satisfaction as his mouth hung open upon seeing her patronus that took on his werewolf form.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. Remus blinked at her. Then she said, "Happy Christmas, Remus," before Apparating up to her room.

A/N: In HBP it never said anything about Remus showing surprise about Tonks' morphing or patronus, so I think it's logical that he knew about them before Harry told him.


	5. 1997

A/N: I imagine that everyone reading this has read DH already, but to give fair warning there are some spoilers in this chapter. And I don't think butterbeer is alcoholic; I'm working under the assumption that it isn't. I imagine that most Order members had to go into hiding after the ministry fell, and could only do what they could underground.

**Chapter 5**

**1997**

Nymphadora Lupin was sitting in her mother's living room wrapping presents on Christmas Eve. She absently ran her hand over her slightly rounded stomach. While she was battling the Spellotape, a melody popped into her head. She frowned slightly as she remembered the previous Christmas.

She was broken out of her reverie by the sound of the doorbell. She quickly covered the half-wrapped presents and moved toward the source of the noise. "When, and under what circumstances, was our first kiss?"

"Christmas Eve 1993. We were two strangers who met at the Three Broomsticks and we kissed under the mistletoe as a friendly seasonal gesture. Whom have we decided to appoint as godfather to our child?"

"Harry." She opened the door for him. He stepped inside and lightly embraced her after he removed his cloak.

"How are you?"

She shrugged. "Alright. I've been working on the Christmas wrapping." She sighed. "My mother's not doing so well. She's taking Dad's absence hard, understandably. I don't know how to help her."

They both sat down on the sofa, and Tonks rested her head on Remus' shoulder. Remus wrapped his arm around her middle and caressed her stomach a little. She looked at him hopefully. "I don't suppose you've heard any news about him?"

Remus frowned. "No, I'm afraid not. Although I think no news is good news in this case. It means he probably hasn't been captured." The unsaid word "yet" hung heavily in the air between them. "I wish I had something better to report. I know Kingsley has been surreptitiously looking for leads."

"It's alright. At least there's no bad news to completely ruin Christmas. When's the next broadcast?"

"We're hoping to get one in during the first week of January. The abandoned muggle warehouse that we've been using is a pretty good spot, but we're thinking of finding another location. That way we can eventually return to our current one without detection."

"That sounds like a plan. Well, I should really finish the wrapping." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Since I have about forty-five minutes until Christmas."

"I can finish. You should rest." He moved to get off the couch, but she pushed him back.

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid, Remus," she huffed indignantly. "Besides, how do you know those aren't your presents I'm wrapping?"

"Ah, perhaps I had a dastardly plan to peak at my presents early." Tonks rolled her eyes. "But wait a minute. I have a surprise for you." He pulled out two bottles from under his coat.

She took one of the butterbeers with delight, and growing suspicion. "How did you get these? You didn't actually go into the Three Broomsticks on Christmas Eve, did you?" She was slightly horrified that he might have risked being arrested by being seen at such a crowded Wizarding location.

"Of course not. Lee Jordan had a few extras. He said that it would be better if I didn't know where they came from, but I suspect that Mundungus Fletcher had something to do with it. I know it's not an option for us to go out this year, so I thought having a piece of our old tradition would rouse your holiday spirits." Remus smiled almost bashfully at her.

She returned the gesture broadly. "It is a wonderful surprise." Tonks wished that she had something as nice and thoughtful for him, but she had only been able to repair a few of his older shirts for his gifts. Although asking her mother for help with sewing charms had been quite a generous present, if she didn't say so herself.

"I'm glad you like it." He sipped his own butterbeer with relish. They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Then Remus became contemplative. "I wish I could do more for you."

Tonks froze. It was this kind of thinking that had kept them apart the previous year, and had made him leave for a few days after Bill and Fleur's wedding. "Don't even start, Remus. I thought we were past all your self-deprecation. It does nothing but hurt us both. I know we're in the middle of a war and we face a lot of hardships for the time being, but I have to believe that it will get better, that all this fighting and suffering will be worth it. You're doing the best you can, like the rest of us."

"Dora, I don't mean materially." As if he read her mind, he continued, "And I never intend to stop doing all I can for you and the baby to make up for my cowardice this summer, but I wish I could make your life easier. I wish I could end the war and bring back your father and give you back the job you love. I wish we could all come out of hiding and that children didn't have to bear burdens that most full-grown adults would find difficult."

Her expression softened. "I know, Remus. We all wish for those things. But we just have to continue fighting and doing what we can. That's the only way to achieve a better world, without Vol- You Know Who, with less evil and cruelty. By the way, we really need to come up with a better moniker for him." They both chuckled at her levity concerning a topic that the Order, especially the younger members, had discussed at length.

Remus sighed. "I must say that Fred, George, and Lee have some very interesting ideas. I'm sure they would wax poetic on the subject at the next meeting. But you're right, of course, about fighting the good fight. We have to put our faith in Harry. If anyone can destroy You Know Who, or perhaps the Chief Death Eater, he can. I only wish that he could have told the Order what Dumbledore wanted him to do. I'm sure we could have helped."

"Maybe that's part of it. Maybe Dumbledore knew that Harry had to complete this quest, I suppose, alone, well alone except Ron and Hermione."

Remus smiled. "I'm at least sure that Dumbledore knew Ron and Hermione would accompany Harry wherever he went."

"That's love for you." Tonks grinned more widely. "It won't let go, no matter what."

Remus considered her tenderly. "I'm very glad. Well, shall we finish the wrapping together."

Tonks beamed as brightly as the sun. "Together sounds wonderful. And I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I already finished yours; I only have my mother's left." They turned to lighter conversation as they wrapped the last of the packages.

When they finished, Remus stood and offered his hand to help Tonks up. She took it gratefully, touched and amused that his chivalry could still send warm tingles straight through her. She hugged him, saying, "I'm glad you're here."

He returned her embrace. "I'm glad that I'm here, also. After all we've been through, I don't know what I would do without you. Well, it must be getting late since I'm starting to spout romantic platitudes that, while true, sound hopelessly cheesy and not really romantic at all."

"I know what you mean. I find myself not even slightly amused at your spouting of romantic platitudes." She smiled up at him, and their eyes met. And they knew that they would never need romantic platitudes to express their love for each other.

They kissed sweetly and lingeringly. "Happy Christmas, Nymphadora."

"Happy Christmas, Remus." And they thought it really was as they retired for the night.


	6. 1998

A/N: This final chapter is technically AU, but I am happy in the land of denial. I refuse to believe that Remus and Tonks actually died. Enjoy! And Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays, if you prefer)!

**Chapter 6**

**1998**

Tonks and Remus entered the Three Broomsticks on Christmas Eve and sank down gratefully on two bar stools.

"It was really nice of Harry and Ginny to agree to baby-sit Teddy this evening," said Remus around a yawn.

"Yeah, although I think my mum was disappointed. You know how she loves to volunteer."

"Well, she can't have Teddy all to herself. Besides, Harry and Ginny will eventually need practice; they might as well start now."

"I hope they wait a few years, though. They should enjoy some time being young in a Voldemort-free world." A few heads turned at the sound of the hated name. Tonks sighed inwardly that people still got skittish at the mere name of the dark wizard who had been dead for six months.

"I quite agree. I hear that poor Molly had a bird when she found out that Harry proposed to Ginny a few weeks ago." Remus chuckled.

Tonks said, "I know. I ran into Arthur at the Ministry the other day. He said she still hasn't recovered from her shock. But it's more the promise of an engagement, yeah? They've held off setting a date for the wedding indefinitely?" Remus nodded.

"Do you remember the day in November when I said I was having lunch with Harry?" She nodded. "Well, I was part of a whole committee, including Ron and Arthur and Kingsley, that helped him pick out the ring."

She playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Oy! Why didn't you tell me?"

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I was sworn to secrecy, under pain of _Rictusempra_. And, Dora, everyone knows how well you keep secrets." He dodged her carefully aimed jab and leaned back in to give her a light kiss on the nose, showing that he was only teasing and meant no offense.

"Fine. Laugh now. Just see how funny you think it is when you're sleeping on the couch tonight." She poked him in the chest for good measure. "How was your meeting with Minerva today."

Remus had always been astounded by Tonks' ability to switch between lighthearted joking and serious conversation without hesitation, but this change was rather dizzying, even for her. "It went as well as could be expected. She thinks about half of the Board of Governors support my appointment, or could be persuaded, for when Hogwarts reopens next year, but the other half are adamantly opposed. Even though Greyback and his ilk are all in Azkaban, the older members are trapped by years of thoughtless prejudice."

Tonks reacted angrily. "Gits! You're a bloody war hero, for Merlin's sake! They should be begging you to teach."

While she continued seething silently, Remus placed a placating hand on her arm. "Dora, it's alright. These sorts of animosities don't go away overnight. If I were an average parent, I'd be at least a little nervous about a werewolf teaching my child."

Tonks calmed visibly, although her eyes still held an angry gleam. "I suppose I can see your point," she muttered reluctantly. She remembered with some shame that she had been as susceptible as any other to prejudices against werewolves before she met Remus.

"Minerva's doing all she can, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione and some more of my old students have a petition going."

"That's all well and good, but if they refuse, I say we teach Teddy ourselves?"

"And not send him to Hogwarts?!" Remus was aghast and slightly worried that he couldn't tell whether or not Tonks was joking.

"I think it would be a great form of protest." Her light tone told Remus that she was indeed joking, but he didn't think it was amusing.

"You would deny our son some of the happiest years of his life because of a grudge that would be more than ten years old by the time he got his letter?"

"I wasn't serious, Remus. I'm just releasing some steam." She sounded a little offended at his suggestion.

"I thought as much. Just making sure."

"Besides, I want to find out what House he'll be sorted into. My money's on Ravenclaw." Remus raised an eyebrow. "What? You don't think he's intelligent?"

"I never meant to imply anything of the sort. I'm simply unsure of how you came to your assessment. He hasn't even said his first word yet."

"Well, he gurgles intelligently. And sometimes I swear I can see his brain working." Remus chuckled inwardly. His wife's words, spoken in a half-serious and half-playful tone, were so characteristic of her that he knew he would remember this conversation long after they celebrated Christmas. And he had to admit that he saw a certain truth to her statement.

"Ah, I see. But I am almost completely sure that he will become a Gryffindor. With Harry Potter as his godfather and Sirius as his cousin twice-removed, how could he not?"

"We'll just have to wait and see." She became contemplative. "I wish he could have known Sirius."

"I do, too. But, at least Teddy will know all about him. Stories are a poor replacement for the man himself, but I'm sure he will never lack for vivid anecdotes of all the Marauders, and of Harry and his friends' exploits." They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they pondered all the grief that had led to their current state of near blissful happiness. They gave thanks for dear friends, lost and still present. They considered how close they themselves had come to leaving the world forever. When their gazes finally locked, they tacitly vowed to savor every moment that they had and never to forget their good fortune to reap the fruits of their long toils.

Tonks yawned and stretched. "I'm ready to go home, how about you?"

As Remus rose, he said, "That sounds excellent." They linked their hands together as they moved toward the exit. They slowed as they approached the door and the mistletoe that stood as a sentry above it.

"What do you say? For old times' sake?" She looked up at him expectantly. He obliged her and kissed her lips softly, feeling like a teenager in the throes of a first crush.

Then, they exited into the frosty December air that still seemed somehow warmer than the past several years, probably from the absence of Dementors.

"I hope Harry and Ginny have managed to put Teddy to bed," mused Tonks.

"They shouldn't have had too much trouble. Teddy doesn't understand Christmas yet." At Tonks' mock glare, he added quickly, and dryly, "At least not that he communicates. I'm certain that his brilliant baby mind knows all the secrets of the universe." She poked him mercilessly, but Remus caught her hand and kissed it.

Tonks' eyes softened. "All teasing and poking aside, I'm glad that we have this tradition and this time together." She wrapped her arm around his.

"Yes, I agree. Happy Christmas, Nymphadora."

"Happy Christmas, Remus. Shall we?" Two sharp pops left High Street deserted. And Remus and Tonks went home to spend the first of many happy Christmases celebrated as a family.

The End 

A/N: _Rictusempra_ is the tickling charm.


End file.
